My son was running around the house, per usual, and he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, and he ran head first into the corner of my dinning room table. BOOM, SMACK….. wait for it. 3…2…1….AHHHHHHHHH! He’s screaming bloody murder, and I rush into my super mom stance by asking the same old question. Show me where it hurts? Such a simple phrase that has such a deeper meaning. Showing someone who is supposed to love you, protect you, and ultimately will fix the pain, exactly where it hurts, so that in some supernatural way they comfort the pain away; pain that we brought upon ourselves. Now this isn’t to say that accidents don’t happen, but rather to address that it was my sons lack of paying attention that caused the accident, which brought pain upon his own body. Or in other words, sometimes our lack of being in tune with our higher selves, that allow us to open up our spiritual and emotional gates, to allow energy in that will ultimately cause us to be in some sort of pain or discomfort in our lives. Maybe you aren’t ready to hear that, so I’ll just talk about me.
I want to tell you who I am on the inside; the woman who is transforming before your very eyes, hell the woman who is changing right before my own. I’ve walked around for years with this broken shadow of a whole being, holding back the tears of my yesterdays past, and hoping that others will see beyond the damage, to see the hope that I have for tomorrow. But they don’t. You’ve seen me, you’ve seen the pain, the sadness, the emotional parts of myself that I’ve tried to cover up, or keep hidden. It had been my hope that someone else will come along one day and be my “savior”, to ask me to show them where it hurts, so that they can fix it. Newsflash: THEY CAN’T FIX IT!
I was the reason why I kept getting hurt. I was the reason that I manifested pain into my own life, because I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, I lacked direction, which ultimately allowed me to run into the hypothetical tables, that caused me to suffer from bad relationships, increase in weight (got fat), decrease in financial success, unplanned pregnancy etc. My own decisions, consciously and subconsciously brought about the pain that I claimed I didn’t want, but inevitably brought upon myself. Moving on.
I AM THE MASTER OF MY OWN FATE, THE DESIGNER OF MY OWN DESTINY.
Now don’t take this to mean that there won’t be people who can come into your world to help you through your transformational process; but rather to express that if you are waiting on a savior, then you are fooling yourself to think that the savior isn’t already inside of you. When you realize that we are the creators of both the good and bad situations in our lives, then we will then realize that we can, and should be creators of more good than bad. It is when we decide to look within ourselves, that we will find everything we have ever been searching for. However, just when you aren’t looking, the universe will bless you with little pearls along the way, to show you that you are on the right path, and that everything you are doing is alright. But you have to go through the process; no one can escape the process. The process means that sometimes it is essential for you to bump your head, feel the pain, and realize that this is NOT what you should be doing, or where you should be going.
Let me show you where it hurts, I told others for years. Showing you my wounds, bandages, cuts and scrapes, willingly accepting the boo boo kisses that kept me emotional suppressed in a place that wasn’t happy or healthy for me to be in. It is sinking sand, my feet stuck in cement, and not a place from which true growth can emerge. Showing others where I was hurt, was only good when the pain immediately happened. Holding onto that pain for years upon years was only a reflection of my own inability to accept things and move on. I can say that honestly, because I struggled with accepting things and moving on. No more.
Transitions aren’t easy. You know, the concept of moving from one place to another, either mentally or physically. But transition is necessary, for all things are in a perpetual state of movement. I don’t want to show you where I’ve been hurt, because it’s over now, and I had to brush myself off and keep running towards my future. So in the end my advice to you is to be vulnerable, be flexible, be willing to challenge yourself, and most importantly, be willing to bump your head and get hurt. Hell, it’s the only way my son learned to stop running around my damn table. Learn the lesson and move on. Otherwise, you’ll be sitting in your momma’s lap, crying for way too damn long, over something that honestly shouldn’t even hurt anymore.
-Be the best version of YOU!-