It’s not just about me…

stressed out

I got this. I can do it. Just keep pushing, and one day it’ll all be worth it. I can hear myself repeating this same ol’ chant, over and over again in my head. Day after day, when I find myself trying to muster up the strength to not curse some A-hole out on my job. When I want to call in sick because I know it’s gonna be another day of just bullsh!t that I really don’t need. We all have done it; hell we all do it, if we’re being honest. We find justifications to go into a job that we hate, or deal with people we don’t like just so that we can make another dollar to support our families. Well in my opinion, this same feeling is doubled when you’re a solo/co-parent, cause you know most of the time, one false move and your family empire is coming down hard.

That’s how I’ve been feeling as of late. Feeling like I gotta force myself to perk up to go into an office where 90% of the people don’t look like me. Where I’m trying to bridge informational gaps from people who think I’m under-qualified, or at best an affirmative action hire. I have to plaster on a smiling face and get insulted, belittled, or humiliated in order to ensure that come Friday the check clears. “Whoop-Tee-Doo!”

However, it is always only as bad as I make it. I can either pour into the bad, or fill up on the good. I find those people who are kind to me, and I gravitate towards them. I get up and walk away before blowing off some steam because someone cut me off, or is treating me disrespectfully. I manage the things I can do, and work on what I can’t do (successfully) later. Because here’s the kicker….. This SH!T ain’t just about me. I have a son, who deserves quality care/education. We both deserve a home we can call our own. My son and I deserve good food, clean clothes, and all the minimal luxuries most of the world deem as basic necessities. So while I want to flip my wig, and or put people in their place, the reality is that I can’t. My son needs me to provide, my family needs me to be a positive example, and I need to pay the electric bill before our lights get cut off.

While this may seem like a simplistic view of getting over challenges at work, that’s just how I try to look at things… Simply. What someone else eats don’t make me shit, and what you think about me don’t pay my d@mn rent. So who cares. I’m not going into these places to make friends. I have a goal. I have a dream, and the more I get invested in this place I call work. The less vested I am in this thing I call “My Life”. So in the end, forget how bad some of your co-workers are. If the job pays well, and 75% of the people are tolerable; then suck it up, put on your big girl panties, and deal with it, until you are able to do something different, and better. In the end, your life is only as wonderful as the picture you paint about it.

-Being better, cause that’s the only way-

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